Some days, do you feel the need to reinvent yourself? Am I alone in this? Ugg. I'll just cut right to it - I look in the mirror and I see someone I no longer recognize, both physically and mentally, and that is hard! I'll talk on the phone and realize that the other person is just humoring me and not really listening to my babble. Who am I anymore? I guess I've hit the post-pregnancy wall.
I want to make something very clear. I ADORE my son. This isn't about Oscar at all. He is the coolest kid ever. (I don't want this post to sound like a crazy mom who resents her child or anything!) I cherish the time I get to spend with my baby and I wouldn't trade it for the world. And I know how very fortunate I am to get to spend this time with him. It is important to be with your child during this time. I firmly buy into the whole "fourth trimester" philosophy.
It's just that I hate change. Change is so hard for me. I guess I'm pretty inflexible in certain ways. I've always known that about myself, though. I hate to rearrange my furniture or put away my spring clothes... That's just me. And being a mom is HUGE. It is a 24/7 job that you don't get a break from. I've had to learn how to do things one-handed and while I'm doing other things. (I'm nursing while I'm writing this. How is that for multi-tasking!) I'm getting used to running on very little sleep now, too. Being a mom is hard work!
So I've decided that I need to reinvent myself. I need to remember that I can be a better mom when I'm good to myself. So, I got my hair cut (not drastically or anything) on Saturday. I'm wearing my glasses today and I don't care if anyone sees me. I'm going on a bit of a health diet and cutting out the sweets so that I'll be able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes eventually. I've decided that at night, when Tim gets home, I'll give him an hour of "Daddy & Oscar Time" and I'll use that time for something for me instead of cleaning the house or working on Oscar projects. Who knows? Maybe I'll use that time to read War and Peace! Think of this as my resolutions. I'm reinventing myself and I am going to like who I'll become.