06 January 2009


Yesterday I had the best muffin EVER. Some background:

My mom came up to spend the next two weeks with me. See, I have been wrestling with the work/stay-at-home new mommy decision for a while now, hence the complete avoidance of the topic when asked, and I have FINALLY come to my conclusion. (And the conclusion has also come to me!) I asked my mom to stay with me so that I could put in a two week notice at the library that I've been with for the past 2 and a half years. This was a decision Tim and I scrutinized over, so no giving me guilt over this reader, because it won't work. We went over all the what-if's and budget craziness and weighed out what was important and all that good stuff and even what I WANT to do (fancy that!) and I am proud of our choice. It may mean beanie weenies and rice, but we've done that before (in TN) and maybe that will mean I'll look hot in a swimsuit come summer time. That is what works for us.

Anyway, so yesterday was my first day back at the library in a little over 3 months. Wow it was hard! Walking out the door knowing I'd be away all day from my little fella was physically painful. At least I had an amazing babysitter (right, ma?). Well, what was even harder was pumping at work. That was the pits. This is a hard one to explain to someone who has never had to breastfeed... (There is a "let down" process and for this to happen, certain stars must be aligned...) I had to pump in a cold, sterile, florescently-lit colorless bathroom, while precariously balancing the electric -thank God- pump on a skinny sink top. And since I was pressed for time - I had 15 minutes to do it and it took at least 5 to set everything up - I had to do both boobs at once, which leaves no room for error. (That was probably too much information, reader. But hey, if you are a man, you need to know what it is we women have to deal with.) So, here I am, trying my best to think happy thoughts and let the milk flow, but I had just spoken to a crazy woman, I was stressed out, and I was in this horrid bathroom hoping no one would walk in. After all that work, I only got about 2 ounces. Awesome.

I have a deep respect for any woman that can make that type of situation work. For me, no dice.

Also of note, I came home at lunch time to nurse Oscar. He had been ready to eat 15 minutes prior to my arrival and was seriously pissed off to see me. That made nursing a real pleasure as well. But halfway through he stopped at looked up at me like "Ah, mom! Where have you been all day?!?" Thank goodness for MY momma, who packed up the rest of my lunch so I was able to eat something on the commute back!

There are lots of other little juicy tid-bits that made my day _____. (Here. YOU fill in this blank. I'll give you a list of words: insane, stressful, sad, bittersweet, memorable, poetic, rotten, conclusive, or pick-your-own-word. Leave me a comment to tell me which word you chose.) I won't go into more detail about the happenstance because I'm rambling now. Oh, but I forgot to mention that earlier yesterday morning, I also slipped and fell butt-first on the ice in front of my house and that it was seriously fun to go to work with wet pants and a sore tush. There. That was most of my day in a nutshell. Couple all that with the fear and dread of being a people-pleaser and having to turn in a two week notice to people who are anticipating your return.

But back to my muffin. Why was this the best muffin ever? Well, after all that fill-in-the-blank kind of day, Tim and I went to A.B.C, sat down together and shared our ups and downs and highlights and low lights of the day. We each had a delicious muffin of our choice, mine was chocolate chip and his pumpkin. Mine tasted full of the glory of victory. I survived. Not only that, my boss was gracious enough to realize that I couldn't survive a series of days like this and let me off the hook of working for two whole weeks. Mmmm... delicious.


LadyBugCrossing said...

You made a great decision. You will never be wealthy, but you will be rich!

Sherri said...

I'm thrilled for you! How great to find a way to do what your heart wants - and for you and your hubby to be on the same page!! I'm sure that muffin was great:)

Christie said...

Hey girl! Way to go, you did survive. Nothing makes a muffin sweeter than to look at the one you love and to know you are going to survive together. I'm sorry yesterday was "hell." (there's my word) Anywho, I'm so glad you've come to a decision and are at peace with it. I love you and hope we can catch up soon and have one of those mad-long girlie chats. Big hugs to all three of you.

Jana said...

Hi, Suzy Q!
I am proud of you! I am sure it was a tough decision to make (especially financially!) but I KNOW you will be very happy (most days, anyway!:) ) with your choice. Those first few years of bonding are so critical. You will have given your child the best thing in life: a loving full time parent! Boy! I wish I could have had an electric pump back then! I remember how hard it was to go back to school when Kelly was just 3 months old! I nursed her, despite it all till she was 11 months! So I definitely know what you went through at work yesterday!
I think God invented chocolate chip muffins for new mommys :)
So, how many days to you have to put in at the library?
Have you checked out MY blog? I have a link to yours there so I can always see when you've written something new! I sure hope I can see your gorgeous boy before he goes off for his first day of school!
Love you all!

Flip Flop Floozie said...

What a good decision to make. I made that years ago and have never ONCE regretted it..i have three grown sweet kids..so go for it..ARe you not having to work these 2 weeks then..did i read that right? I would fill in that blank with MISERABLE!! I remember the ladies at State Farm where i used to work..they would come back after their 6 weeks off and cry most of that first day..not fair...s

Anonymous said...

Suz-You are an amazing woman!

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