07 October 2006

Jar of Misfortune

Sorry I've been post-less for a while... I've been pre-occupied with getting ideas for the Snicket Party at the library. So far, one of my fave ideas is the "Jar of Misfortune." I'm painting this huge plastic jar black and embellishing it. And inside will be all these crazy pieces of paper with rotten fortunes (kind of like a fortune cookie with no cookie and a really awful fortune). I've been working really hard on compiling some great misfortunes. Here are a few of my favorites:

At the rate you give people headaches, you should buy stock in Excedrin.

You have a big future in food service.

Have that lump on your foot checked real soon.

Your long time skin problems will be corrected by an ordinary cheese grater.

Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.

Enjoy your cellular phone while you can, it has given you a brain tumor.

Don't let your lack of looks, power, money or intelligence get you down.

Your life will be long and happy - - no, wait. Sorry... Do you know a Kendrick Applebaum?

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

You will receive a deep paper cut, making you forever fear poetry.

That wasn't chicken.

You will run out of toilet paper at an inopportune time.

It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

Your life will inspire a Country & Western song.

You will say something stupid in a few minutes, so it's best that you remain silent.

Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory in Hoboken, NJ!


2 comments:

Lazy Daisy said...

How bout...if you are what you eat, then you're in trouble!

Call home....mom!

Jill Lorraine said...

Those are seriously awesome!

I'm stealing them.

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